15TH MAY 2013
ARIZONA HERE I COME.
As I get ready to write songs, I always visit Sedona to give thanks, meditate and ask for help in the next part of my life and my work. It is the most beautiful landscape of red rocks and clear blue skies and you can feel the love and energy when you enter the area. It’s as though all of your past relatives are there and they are wanting to give you what you dream of. I can’t wait to sit and be there, grateful and humbled by the beauty of the desert.
Last night I got to be in San Francisco after that great Napa music festival, Bottle Rock. It felt so good to be there in the Bay Area among the eucalyptus trees and the ocean breeze. Such a remarkable place. I love it there. I met a woman there that sang with me last night and she is in her second round of chemo therapy for something that doesn’t want to go away yet. I never know what to say to that sort of thing but I hugged her for a bit and gave her any healing energy I could muster. She is lovely and strong.
The things that we go through on this planet are so overwhelming. I don’t understand most of them and so many things make me sad but the true spirit of humanity is beautiful and I feel like it will get better and better in this new age we are in. People that I meet are so caring for others. It makes me hopeful. It’s disappointing that we see and here about all of the terrible events on the news but we rarely get to see the Angels that are helping others, healing others and caring for others.
Maybe someday I will be able to create a chance for us all to see those folks. I’ll start working on it.
I head to London soon to write and then we start to get prepared for our summer tour. It’s going to be Amazeballz with the Script and Gavin. I love all those guys and their music.
I hope that I will see you all this summer.
There are other cool things that will be announced soon but I’m not aloud to mention them yet. Sorry
Well, I hope you are all healthy and well and taking care of yourselves. I miss seeing your smiling faces.
I’m hugging you…most of you
13th April 2013
I’ve reached a point in my life(due to age perhaps) that I have decided something crucial for my continuation. Inspiration! That’s what it all really comes down to for me. I am so completely bored with the uninspiring parts of life. It doesn’t have to be miraculous to be an inspiration. For example, I think that hard working people are inspiring. I think that complaints are boring. Smiles inspire. Gossip is a bore. See?
My son, Patrick, told me to read Catcher In The Rye years ago. It was really inspiring and I got what he was saying about phonies(bore fest). Being disingenuous is a bore.
Here’s what I’m talking about basically, I’ve done some pretty cool things, seen lots of the world and met thousands of different sorts of people. It’s all the same unless it comes with something inspiring. Even if that spark starts with me. If I’m up, so is the trip. If I’m a shit, so is the trip. I’m tired of being a bitch. I’m bored with not being satisfied. It’s time to be an inspiration or at least try. If my music isn’t inspiring, I will work until it is, even if just to myself.
My commitment is to be filled with reasons to want to be around me. All that other stuff is for the birds(not the band, The Birds, just the old saying). I promise to do my best(talking to myself currently) to quit whining and finding the problem with things. I swear to look at things for ways to improve life, yours or mine and probably both.
These things inspire me:
Good parenting(not self righteous ass tit parents)
Smart people(not self righteous ass tit smarty pants)
The bright side
Things that bore the shit outta me:
Shit talkers(unless its on the bball court)
Forgetting where you came from
What about you?
7th April 2013
Help me transform to a better “me”.
Bring this gift in abundance, please.
Help me reach my highest potential.
Bring me inspiration, clarity and wisdom.
And rid me of any negative energy and bring me light and love.
22nd March 2013
I’m not going to complain anymore.
I realize that my complaints are really due to boredom. I have no “real” problems. Oh except when wifi is bad and playing Words With Friends is slow. *joke
Really I have nothing to complain about.
New rule(for me):
If its not funny and or it isn’t a reflection of my awesome life, don’t say it. Amen
Hope you guys are doing well.
Gonna write some songs next week. I’m real psyched!
24th February 2013
The UK ❤ The EU ❤ The UK
Love and thanks to
New castle, Glasgow, Belfast, Dublin, Manchester, Leeds, London, Wolverhampton and Tilburg!
Not a long tour but an incredible one for us. Thank you for you kindness, enthusiasm, love and forgiveness.
I was personally not in my best form but you reacted as if I was and that made me continue to get stronger and perhaps better each night.
You are a part of the world that the entire world could learn from. People came here from many parts of the world and insisted in telling me the the rooms were filled to the brim with positive energy and smiling faces like no other shows they had ever been to.
There will never be a bigger, better compliment than that for us. It’s as good as it gets.
Other than my very worn out vocal chords, I had an amazing time here. I always do but this time was very special to me. Thank you for the healing that you did for me from the crowd. I felt it and it worked.
What a powerful group you were each night.
I will never forget this tour. It will forever be the most memorable with as many that are yet to come.
Plan is to have something new in the fall for you and perhaps a new visit. I sure hope I’m right.
Thank you all and thank you Gin Wigmore and her bad ass band!!
Love, Pat M
16th February 2013
Here we are…
in this very brief moment in time. What will we do? What obstacles will we have? What will our parents be like? What will we be like as parents? Will the glass be half full or empty? Will our genes make us weak or give us strength? Who will we choose to be?
Today in Glasgow I was likely going to cancel our show just before going on. Actually it looked like I was going to have to cancel this tour. No voice to speak of (pun intended) and more than slightly exhausted and depressed. “Sometimes you need to stop.” “Life can be disappointing.” And many other pieces of wisdom were eased my way. Knowing that people had flown in from all over the world to see us and to connect with friends they’ve acquired through our music certainly didn’t make it easy to take the night off.
I decided to do my best and disappoint people on stage rather than not try. As it came to be, something miraculous happened. Maybe not a miracle to anyone but me however but a miracle to me for sure. I sang one song then another and then another and as I was singing I was actually getting stronger and better and clearer and healthier and so on. I swear that the people in that room in Scotland wanted me to be well and they willed it on me. I felt as though I was being given one after another gift until I was full of light and love.
This may seem lame or “uncool” or whatever to some but to me it was all good things coming into human existence and I want to acknowledge it and appreciate it and say to everyone there tonight that I am so thankful to you all for loving me through the most difficult time in my career.
The night before I was scared that my time as a singer was coming to a close. Today I feel like the sky is the limit.
So, thank you, Glasgow!
Thank you everyone who wishes well upon others. It is a lovely courageous thing to do. I’d like to thank all of your parents as well. Great work! You did it!
28th January 2013
I love Hawaii!
Hawaii is my favorite place to spend time. While I was there I was surrounded by famous athletes and actors and I loved what I witnessed for the most part. NFL players from every team were such great guys. Zane Beadles from Denver, Chad Greenway and Toby Gerhart from the Vikings, Andrew Luck of the Colts and Coach John Fox of Denver were just a few notables that were amazing guys. It means a lot to me to see celebrities and famous athletes be good to people when they are off duty. I have to believe that what those people have in common is parents that did a great job. I’m sure there’s more to it but I bet good people as parents is a big part of it.
Also got to be on the Hawaii Five O set and meet all those guys. Super sweet people and the director, writer and producer friend of mine, Peter are all awesome people as well.
Those types of experiences give me a great feeling about humanity. There are really good people out there who are getting a lot of attention. They get attention because they’re really good at something that people love, acting, sports, music, all kinds of things we love. I’m real happy that many of these people are so solid. It’s good to see.
Another cool thing was that SNL, even though we’ve never been invited on and at this point I’d say we never will, did a skit about us and Maroon 5. Adam was the shows host and he did a terrific job. The skit was awesome and even though they gave me a soul patch, which I don’t really have, it was flattering because it was fun without jabbing anyone in the heart, if ya know what I mean.
The Pro Bowl pre show that we performed on was incredible. Not us per say but the production was incredible. Hundreds of Hawaiians in native attire doing great Hawaiian traditions such as hula dancing and drumming and ukulele playing and many other awesome things that make Hawaiians so beautiful. It was such an honor to be a part of it all.
Being in someone’s home and being loved and accepted is so lovely and flattering. It really was a beautiful time and a humbling time as well.
I have so much to be grateful for. I try very hard to be in a constant state of appreciation but at times I feel fatigue and I’m not so good at the appreciating. If you ever catch me at a time that I remind you of a whiny asshole, it’s probably true but only for a moment. In general I feel like I’m pretty consistent in my being grateful. I hope that if you ever run into me, you will agree.
Anyway, thank you, Hawaii! Thank you, Hawaiians! Hawaii Five O! NFL! And thank you Train fans from everywhere. I don’t always feel confident and comfortable in what I do but you all make me feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be.
In New Orleans now so I will soon be thanking , The Talk, VH1 and many others.
See you soon, UK and Netherlands!
9th January 2013
So ya know
I wrote a blog a week ago and deleted it on accident. Bummed me out so it took till now to try again.
Just wanted to wish you all a happy 2013 and let you in on what is happening in our lives, or at least what’s happening with Train.
We have our first song on country radio, Bruises, and we are so excited to have this chance to be on country radio and on CMT(one of my favorite networks). We’ve written county style songs since our beginnings but this is our first stab at entering this new family. We never wanted to try it in an inauthentic way. We loved doing Crossroads with Martina McBride and I hope to do lots more with her in the years to come. And now we are joined by my good friend, Ashley Monroe, who has a new album coming soon. It is an amazing album too. I’m so proud of the great work she’s done.
We also released Mermaid to the Hot AC format of radio. We shot a video for it in the Bahamas and even though I don’t know when it will be ready, I am really excited for you to see it. It will be tied in with the swim suit edition of Sports Illustrated, so plan on seeing some greatness. The girls look cute too ; )
We do Leno next week and then head to Hawaii for the pre game Pro Bowl. I shoot an episode of Hawaii 5-0 while I’m there as well. Then we head to New Orleans for a week on The Talk and the VH1 Pepsi Smash.
Fun and its in Hawaii(my favorite place on earth).
So there it is. And then of course we head to the UK and the Netherlands in February.
Please be safe and take care of the love you’ve got.
See you soon.
15th December 2012
If I could do just one decent thing for the world it would be to go back one day and prevent this terrible day from happening to these children, adults and the town of Newtown. I would trade anything I could. I wish there was something I could have done, something I can do. I wish so much. I have wept all day and night thinking about these kids getting ready for school, their enthusiasm for Santa to come, the art project they were going to put on their family refrigerators. I can’t even really believe that a human was capable of doing this to babies. I am so sad and forever changed from this and I not a direct victim. I cannot imagine the endless agony that these families will have to endure and I can only hope that there will be some hope for them to be able to have joyful moments in their lives once again. We were in Connecticut just one week ago. It is a wonderful state. An incredible place to raise a family, live, have a job, be. If there is something that I can do, I will do it. If there is someone out there who can put me to good use, please tell me. I hope something comes of this that will make the world better forever. I have some thoughts but I’m not sure I’m the right person to change gun laws in this country. If its really necessary to have these sorts of weapons, I’m sure I don’t know understand. I hope beyond hope that these families will survive this. I am so sorry. I wish I could help.
I love you all for your kindness, not just now but always.
6th December 2012
With the help of many volunteers and forward thinking “doers” of New Jersey and beyond, we(Train) actually did something to be proud of for a community that really needs some help and money.
We have committed to help Sea Bright, NJ rebuilt their once beautiful, still strong community.
Every business is still not functioning. 80% of the residences are uninhabitable. And the 24 hours a day volunteering is incredible but in need of some light at the end of a very long tunnel.
On Christmas Day —all day—, VH1 will run one minutes spots from Sea Bright with Train to encourage everyone and anyone to donate to a not for profit, only for these residents, foundation.
We will all be in a needing position some day. Pay it forward perhaps. How ever you want to look at it, chip in and give these people a hand.
Thanks for all your suggestions.
Doing a good thing is a soul nurturing event. You helped us figure out a way to help.
Thanks, Charlotte Nagy and thank Train Weirdos for always coming through. You are an incredible group of loving inspirers.
More to do but it’s a good start.
I’ll be on the Today Show at around 8:30am eastern time this morning(Thursday) to talk more about it. Thanks again!
11th November 2012
I have many friends in the northeast of the US, New York, Jersey, Connecticut, PA, Ohio…you get my point.
I haven’t written about the storm until now, even though it was profound in its effect on those places, especially New Jersey and New York.
Our friend, Charlotte Nagy(@charlottenagy) posted a 30 minute look at the beginning, during and after from her town in New Jersey and it was very moving and sad to see. I recommend you watch it on YouTube if you find the time.
My point in this blog tonight is only to say that I understand things like this take time to mend. I’ve never had the misfortune of being in or around a natural disaster but it will take time, I know that much.
I want to help. I don’t know how yet but you guys are super in tune with things like this and I thought I would ask for your recommendations.
Doing kind deeds for press is jive ass booshee, so I want to do something that people really will feel.
If you are from that area and you have an idea of how we/I should get involved, please pass on your thoughts.
Yeah, we’re always busy but not too busy for this. Maybe we can all do something together? Make a date and go do some great work for some of the loveliest people on the planet.
Thanks for your help.
21th October 2012
I needed that
Everything that I will be writing here for the next long while will be very positive. I go in weird phases when I lose perspective and I whine a tad. Okay I complain a ton.
I’m taking a break from being that way. I am here to write uplifting tales from the fatty under belly of the Tuna. The toro. The best of all sushi. I will be bringing you good thoughts and ideas straight from a love filled life view.
My apologies for the counter. It’s never my intent to sound boring and whine-y. I just needed a bit of home life to set things straight.
So. Here. We. Are.
College football. The NFL. Giants baseball. Incredible autumn colors and the brisk cut of a cool fall wind to make you feel fresh again and shake off the dust. Halloween! Dressing up like Cookie Monster for my son’s first birthday. These are just of few things that I am thankful for.
Seeing many of you during this time of year is lovely and refreshing as well. I love it. It reminds me most of our early days. Days lugging gear and burying our hands in our pockets while bullshitting outside of some dive bar in between sets. This is really Rocktober isn’t it? Sounds lame I guess but it really feels like rock and roll.
I’m way in. My favorite time of year.
Haven’t exercised at all. Getting soft and kind of digging it. Whatever. Pumpkin pie. Oh shit! Pumpkin pie ice cream at Baskin Robbins. Aaahhhh! Yes I will.
So there ya have it.
My announcement of positivity.
I wanted to ask one thing though.
I plan to start writing soon. What are your favorite things about Train music? Let me rephrase….
What are your favorite feelings you get while listening to Train and what do you suppose creates those feelings? Did I make that clear? Probably not. Let me try again.
When you listen to Train, what do you walk away with? What is that “thing” that brings you back to a song?
Okay. Let me have it!
12th October 2012
everything seems as though I’m viewing it from sleepy eyes. It’s all a bit dreamy and distant. The calm of not being in a tour bus is met with the business of being in a good sized family. There is always so much to do. I’m not the sort that has a nanny not the type that smokes a pipe and looks up over his glasses at conversations while reading the Wall Street Journal. The haze, I assume, is the transition from a life of fantasy(tour) to a life of reality(home).
Why are my current dreams so strange? I was writing songs for Simon Cowell the other day. Huh? I made a flat, weird taffy that night as well. Not sure what that symbolism means but it’s very odd.
Living most of my adult life traveling, in and out of airports, on buses, cabs, any sort of thing that moves, is slightly off balance when it comes to a halt. A normal existence takes place in a neighborhood, not a Prevost. For me, the lack of movement seems a bit out of whack in ways that are hard to explain. I love the stillness. I need it. I adore being with the people I love. I often think of settling down into a farm setting and cooking for people non stop. My friend, Ryan Scott(a great San Francisco chef and restauranteur) does it. Ah but then I remember that he was born to do that. I was made for something else.
I’ve been prepping myself lately to gear up into “writing mode”. I’m kind of a slacker about it right now. No real drive to get those stories out there. It’s like my subconscious is telling me that doing nothing is the short cut to something special, meaning don’t force it. Those ideas don’t ever pan out for me. So, I’m in a foggy daydream instead, thinking about writing a play, a movie, a tv program, a strange album of Kate Bush/Bjork sounding songs. Then it passes and I play with my children and get lost in the perfect beauty that is around me.
I miss my dad.
I miss my mom.
Seeing these little ones that they were unable to even meet is sad to me. My parents were older when I was born. Now they are somewhere else finding real estate in the clouds, getting things ready for their friends and loved ones.
But damn! Just a few more weeks. That would be so cool. Pick a week. Trade a week. Some type of deal that could be made with the afterlife.
Hey, Goddess of Awesomeness, I will trade a week of my time for a week of a healthy, happy parent to meet my little ones. “Deal!”
Aw but no. That’s not romantic. Finality is. Great things have endings. In fact everything has an expiration date. All for the best I suppose. Romance. Life is romance. The ultimate hit song, blockbuster, NY Times best seller.
Tomorrow I will be in Knoxville. A lovely spot filled with terrific people and memories. Then New York City and then my son’s first birthday.
I will make my way to Amsterdam and The UK after that and then settle in for a restful few stints around the US. It never really stops for me. I may complain but I would have it no other way.
For these things I am grateful.
You have made me a part of your lives and I appreciate that entirely.
There are so many things to chose from these days. So many ways to spend your time and your money. The fact that you chose me and my band to do so is a life altering, mind blowing act of goodness.
So, as always, thank you and I will see you soon.
22th September 2012
Credit where it’s due…
From giving my t-shirt to a young girl on the Today Show to giving a signed guitar away to kids each night of this tour, I am credited with being generous or compassionate or whatever it may be. I appreciate all of that.
Now I want to give credit to those who REALLY deserve it.
Humans hate inconvenience. We all do. It’s everywhere and some of us do what we need to with a smile and some while complaining or pouting. Being inconvenienced is what makes us who we are.
Raising kids, raising kids with disabilities, loving, loving people that need a lot of help, being a friend, being a friend to someone unconditionally; all of these things are inconveniences really. They are time consuming. They take us from our leisure time. These things take effort. Those who do these things are the ones that deserve the credit for being compassionate and generous and kind and loving.
When I hand these simple gifts to these kids of all shapes and sizes and challenges, the work has already been done. These kids sit with their moms or dads or friends or siblings. All these people love so big and are inconvenienced and don’t even think about themselves because they are so consumed with loving these beautiful creatures.
I saw a dad cry for ten minutes the other day when I handed his daughter a signed guitar. I’ve read thank you letters from moms thanking me and the band for including someone who has been excluded all their lives.
I have seen friends cry with joy that their friend is being validated or noticed or anything among a large crowd at a Train show.
These loving families and friends are bad ass mother fathers. I am so impressed with human love.
If you ever doubt that love is stronger than ever, come to a Train show. I promise you will believe again.
So, thank you to the real givers. Thank you for taking care of these incredible people that need your help. Thank you for the days that aren’t easy and the inconveniences and for the helpless feelings that never keep you from being great to these children.
Thank you for escorting these magical inspirations to see us and celebrate our music.
You are heroes and so are they. You are givers and inspirers and we have undying respect for you all.
I appreciate your kindness towards me but the credit really belongs to yourselves.
Thank you for being such a loving, beautiful part of our lives.
Train fans kick everybody else’s asses! Amen!!
13th September 2012
Lyrics better unsung…
1. “I seen a million faces and I’ve rocked them all.” JonBon
2. “Blow me..(wait for it)…one last kiss.” Pink
3. “Sususudio” Genesis
4. “Suckin’ on my titties” Peaches
5. “We all live in a yellow submarine” Beatles
6. “I’ve got the biggest balls.” ACDC
7. Mambo No. 5-all Lou Bega
8. “Fish head, fish head, rollie poly fish head.” Pete Townsend
9. Half the songs I’ve written- Patsofatso
10. “Trapped in a closet/Real Talk” R Kelly
There’s lots more, right?
What are some of those, “huh?!” lyrics for you?
6th September 2012
Here. Have a joke. You earned it.
A pair of testicles walks into a bar. Says to the bartender, “Gimme a million beers.” bartender says, “What are ya, nuts?”. That’s a class A joke right there.
Hey. Thank you all for always helping me feel better about things. About life. About what I do and what I’m doing. You all really seem to get me and what I want. I really appreciate all of your texts, emails and just everything. What a grand group of amazing folks you are.
You are always giving me and the guys a lot of credit for helping you through things and making you smile during tough times and lots of random great things, but you should know that we all appreciate you and what you do for us. Last week was tough.
Today is awesome.
Thank you thank you thank you!
I owe you all big time.
I will try to be there for you as well when you get a bad hand.
31th August 2012
And you’re sure you considered EVERYthing?
I am arriving at a place I dreamed of as a young lad(using this word as a tribute to the UK). On the way the road twisted, dead ended, forked, crossed…you name it, the road did it.
I thought I thought of everything. Really I did. I felt sorry for artists that started to believe the nonsense. Like believing that you’re as special as people want to think you are.
I looked on at the admirable jobs and places in the music world and decided that if I get my shot, I will do it with kindness and love and respect and I will make my parents proud, whether they are here to see it or not.
I decided that music is my ongoing road to find myself. The closer I got to that special music and connection, the closer I would get to knowing my true self.
I’m pretty sure that all of this was accurately moving towards truly working out as planned. Yeah, it took longer, had way more casualties and hurt way more than I thought it might, but the joy has continued to outweigh the lack there of.
Here’s the problem..I didn’t consider what might be the most important piece in this pursuit. I didn’t even think this part was possible. As I go down this road and get closer to finding myself, closer and closer each day, becoming in tune with my true self, what if I don’t like who I find waiting there?
I’m not looking for adulation nor confirmation. I mean really. What if as I approach that thing that we all long to find-our own personal meaning, what happens if the closer I get the more I resemble an unlikable version of what i was when i started this journey?
I’m not exactly sure what that would mean for me. I’m not sure that I would be able to continue this particular quest.
I do know this..I am making more mistakes now than ever and that worries me.
I dread writing and worrying people. I’m fine. I’m okay. I’m healthy. I’m okay. I’m in touch. BUT I’m not exactly sure I like what I’m becoming.
I’ve always wanted to be perfect. That led me to an endless sea of heartbreak and disappointment.
Now I just try not to break what I touch along the way. For everyone that I may touch positively, it seems someone else is being hurt or ignored.
As its said, “Everything will work out in the end. If it isn’t working out, it isn’t the end.”
As you move towards reaching your higher self, are you sure that you considered EVERYthing?
26th August 2012
There’s an old joke where I guy says, “I’m schizophrenic and I am too.”. I always thought it was funny but now I’m starting to feel like that guy.
My humor is flying right over people’s heads but I still laugh like its the funniest shit I’ve ever said.
I’m listening to music currently that is no less than 60 years old.
I drink so much tea that I worry myself. I look at my iPhone more than I look at people. I don’t know what day it is…ever. I have so much dirty laundry that I’m thinking of pitching it all. I don’t sleep until 5 or 6 am. I’m kind of walking around in a daze all the time. I joke to everyone at meet and greets. No one gets my gags.
What should I do? Maybe I should read my book Outliars? Maybe I should meditate. Maybe I should stop watching Louie so much and Tosh.O.
Not sure really. I’d say take a break but that is not gonna happen.
Maybe I should just do it. Jump head first into the weirdness. Get freakishly strange until I’m bearded and un bathed and reclusive.
I could write. Hmm. That’s not a bad idea. What do you do when you are tipping on the verge of cracking and yet at the same time kind of enjoying the weirdness of the cracking?
I could just eat ice cream until I’m the new round rocker. I could start a cult.
Or a religion. Patsofatso-ism. Sounds good actually. We believe that all things are hysterical except for things that aren’t. That sounds dumb I suppose.
How about I do something super cool for someone every day? Or with someone? I try to do that during shows with shirts and a guitar at the end. Hmm. Maybe there is something even cooler.
What’s big? What’s a great gift? What could I do to occupy that space? Visit people? Start having coffee with a random every day? My treat. Sounds fun and strange and possibly dangerous. Some girl called me creepy today because of my jokes. That word sucks when it’s describing you. Some guy said he’d like me to practice all the 50 ways to say goodbye..on myself. That was actually funny.
I’ll think of a way to not go too nutty on you all. For now my band and crew will have to put up with my odd ball ways. I’ll try not to bring it into your lives too much but if I do, just blame it on the road. I’ll come around eventually.
19th August 2012
This Love Is Breaking My Heart:
These things I cannot have
Those feelings lost for good
Hearts don’t know the letting go
And minds they know they should
This skin will shed someday
And with it memories all
The having you the losing you
This love so grand so tall
Had I know that love so sweet
Could turn to salted tears
I’d still choose you in every lifetime
Every day within these years
I hope my last breath when I’m old and pale
Will take me right back to the start
But for now this life feels heavy still
And this love is breaking my heart
16th August 2012
50 More Ways To Say Goodbye:
1. She put her tongue on a 9 volt
2. Jumped onto a catapult
3. She wore a Yankees hat in Boston
4. ODed on chocolate frosting
5. Her brain froze from gelato
6. Smoked way too much pot, oh
7. Her road rage blew her gasket
8. Stole a 5 year old’s Easter basket
9. She drown while bobbing apples
10. Too many dudes on her napples
40 more to go. Help!
12th August 2012
When I was in 9th grade, I had a weird science teacher named Mr. Semple. We called it Simple Semple Science, except for me science was never easy. Mr. Semple said one thing in that nine months that really stood out. It stood out so much that here I am writing about it 6 years later. Ha. Gotcha! 28 years later.
He was talking about rights for some reason. What our rights are as humans and he boiled it all down to one thing WORK. He said, “We all have one right. That’s it. One! To work. We have the right to work. That’s what we’re here to do. Work.” At the time I took that as his way of telling us to do our homework and junk like that which was very uninteresting to me. But it kept cooking inside of me and eventually really hit home.
He was right. I have one right. Not to win or be loved or be understood or any of the other things that our parents or lovers or government tell us. Look around you. Look around the world. So few things are respected and considered sacred. But, work!? Yes. It is globally respected. Effort. Willingness. Striving. Not conquering. Not coming in first or going platinum. Just work.
The world has somehow transformed that right. Kids want to be famous. When asked, “For what?” few ever know or care.
As parents, we try so hard to give our children everything, thinking that is better than what we had, which in most cases was very little. Then, unless we are very well adjusted, we start to think that we deserve things. It’s our right to have, since we have had in the past. We are owed. We are deserving. It’s not fair.
When it’s all boiled down, it ends up somehow being fair. I mean otherwise it would be different, right? I mean I don’t really know anything but it seems like the Universe is dealing shit out the way she sees fit. Some of it is awful. Some of it is too great to comprehend. What rights do any of us really have? Well, if you ask Mr. Semple, it is to work. Makes sense, doesn’t it?
Look, I write these blogs as blind as can be. I don’t know shit. I have no advice for anyone. I love things. I loath things. I am so “regular” in every way. I like ball games and music and chess and chocolate and all kind of shit. I have so many things that I am grateful for.
When I had to give every cent to someone else after I did all the work, I had to figure out how to survive. I remembered that I only have one right. Not to have that money cause it’s all bullshit anyway.
I have the right to go out there and work. That’s it.
Why am I saying all this? I have no idea.
Okay. Goodnight. I love you.
4th August 2012
As I watch the Olympic games, I see that what these athletes have done to be the best in the world is limit their limitations. That is no small feat. In fact it seems to be what separates them from others. To be as good as they are you have to never stop pushing. Never stop working to achieve that feeling of accomplishment. It’s interesting to think of it all as more than sport. It’s their life essence really. Without the will and drive to be the best, there is no “being” the best. It makes sense.
Every day I look around me. I’m usually in a different city than I was the previous day and I want to love where I am. Wanting to love where I am is all it takes to love where I am. No, really, it’s true. Wanting is the most powerful position you can take in all aspects of all things in life. Of course you can think of hundreds of cases that shred this concept to bits, so I will say that I believe this is MY life’s truth.
Wanting is the seed. It is the beginning of all great things, great people, great moments and experiences. I want to love where I am. Making this choice is the first step in loving where I am.
It’s not about hotels and restaurants. It’s about people. I constantly meet people that are so kind and so loving and so compelling that I am always in a state of loving where I am.
I’ll connect this to those athletes now. In their own way, they must all first love that they are at these games. It doesn’t matter where they are held. What matters is that they were chosen based on their efforts, talent and the fact that they did the work. It’s so beautiful to see. These kids dreamed(wanted) and then they worked in a profound way to get to what it was they wanted.
I admire that. I see that in every city as well.
You don’t have to be a star or Olympian. I know some people set out to just be good people. That’s cool too. It’s simple. It’s human. It’s lovely. I love kind, nice people. I met a guy unexpectedly at midnight in Sioux Falls that was wonderful just because he was so nice. I am always wanting to meet nice people. Meeting someone so cool and good hearted made me love Sioux Falls.
This is the way I changed my life.
I limited my limitations.
I want different things than I used to.
It’s so helpful. So necessary to be happy in your life.
Surround yourself with love and good vibes. If you are around THAT, then go find it and stay in it until it doesn’t feel terrific anymore.
Want the best of life and limit those things that keep you from having the best in life. The wanting is only the seed though. You have to give it nutrients to grow into reality.
I changed my life like this. I didn’t know what it was while it was saving my life but now that I can put it in to words, here it is.
I love where I am today. It’s so much better than where I’ve been.
It’s quite beautiful here.
22nd July 2012
Among the wild flowers:
My road to here has had many turns
These turns have had many views
All the views have taught me well
From these wells, I drank to stay alive
While alive I try to do some good
With this good maybe someone’s life is better
The better you are the better I am
I am among the wild flowers
I was just thinking that I should say thank you more often. I am always in a state of appreciation but I should verbalize it more.
I have friends in Glasgow, Munich, Australia, Singapore and Brazil to just name a few places. That is incredible, looking back as a boy from a small town in Pennsylvania.
I’ve always wants to write great, snarky, witty, sarcastic tweets and blogs but when I sit to write for a minute, all that comes to mind is that I am so grateful. I’m grateful for the strength to understand that the darkness is part of the light. I’m grateful to my friend, Don Baker for telling me to, “Behave now as though you are looking back at your behavior. What do you want to see you having done?” I needed to hear that during one of the most difficult times of my life. Wish I would have remembered it yesterday when I was mad at my sweet, not even four year old:(
I wish I could thank you all individually for all that you do for me and my family. Thank you for your letters and notes and smiles and tears and cheers and love and time.
I am so glad to be among you, the wild flowers.
12th July 2012
Crawling into bed at sunrise is pretty lonely. Always feels like the birds are ashamed of me. Hotel rooms are built for people like me I suppose. Thick drapes. Soundscape machines. You name it, there are things to inspire good sleep. Why do none of these things inspire ME? Maybe they do. Maybe I’m supposed to sleep from 6am to noon. Who knows. I’ll just go with it while it lasts.
Thinking it may be time to start doing some self help work again. Therapy, writing, learning to meditate. I’m told they are all good for sleeplessness.
I’m going to write. I’m going to write the lights out of something. Music plus more. How about a play. A music play. A life story. I musical life story. I could talk about so many things. Would you come and see it? Maybe 90 minutes of the history of people like me. Maybe a story about a generation as well as a person.
I really dread thinking that my parents are done living. I feel like I may need to bring them back in something like this. They were lovely. They really were lovely people.
I’ll do what I can do to write something that we can all relate to.
Family. Beauty and the beast of family. Music. Hideous and gorgeous. Words. The magic of language.
I will do my best. I would love you all to meet my parents and my 6 brothers and sisters. I think I know now how I can make that happen.
I hope you’ll come meet them when I’m done.
In the mean time, if you ever want to smack someone that you love, remember that you won’t have forever so don’t sweat the small stuff. I mean unless that small stuff is really driving you nuts;)
18th June 2012
TODAY IS A GREAT DAY!:
I love lots of things. Great songs, great people, funny stories, moving moments, being witness to beautiful deeds. Life is a funny proposition. It tells you to dream, dares you to jump and then only sometimes those dreams come out the way you had hoped.
That’s the puzzle. That’s the beauty.
Today I arrive back home from two weeks overseas. Australia, Malaysia and Singapore. When I arrive home, I will be met by my 14 year old, Emelia. This kid is so awesome. She is wise and funny and well, let’s face it, she is just like me…mm well she’s actually similar to me but far better.
She isn’t coming to be with us for a week or for the summer. She is finally going to be living with us, going to school, having birthdays, dating boys(hmmm) and playing soccer all there where I can have access to her awesomeness. I am so happy. I have dreamed this since she was 5 years old and I stopped living in her house.
You never know someone truly except for yourself, I suppose, but trust me this has been a long, difficult road to bring her home. She belongs where I am and where my wife and little ones are. My big boy, Patrick does too, but he’s going to SF State this year.
Basically I’m just sharing with you that today is a great day for me and my family. We all work hard for what we think will make us feel better, money, travel, girls, boys, whatever.
This makes me feel better. Whole. I have dreamed this. What a great day.
My parents would be so thrilled.
I hope that it is a great day for you all as well.
Side note: just found out that every 2 seconds a pair of jeans is sold on EBAY. That’s fucked up.
4th June 2012
Many of you know that I lost my father last week. He was 85 and until recently, looked like he might live to a hundred.
Thank you all for your kind words and the love and condolences. My family and I really appreciate it all and it helped a great deal to know how many people cared about him and his seven kids.
My dad, Jack, was a fan of many things and many people. When we shared stories about him for several days, I realized that much of what I’m drawn to directly comes from him. For instance, I’ve always considered what I do and what professional athletes do as fun. The work part is making sure you inspire the next generation or several generations if your lucky enough to stay in the game that long. For me it’s making sure that I create the time for kids when there is no time. It’s signing a t-shirt, a baseball, a jersey, stopping everything for a picture, a quick story, a hand shake. It’s big and it means everything. So, I realized that my dad instilled those self rules in me. My job is hardly a job. It’s a privilege and even the job part is hella fun.
My dad loved Ted Williams. He was a great ball player but he loved Ted because he had impeccable manners. If the ump made a bad call while he was up to bat, he never even looked back to show his disagreement. It was a game he felt privileged to play and he played it with honor and respect.
He loved Audie Murphy. He was a war hero who was too short to be a hero but he was a brilliant warrior and a man of honor and respect.
It made me sad that it’s so hard to find a hero these days. Kids seem to look for what’s most popular or has the most YouTube hits. There are heroes out there but they’re too busy doing to take time to be noticed.
My dad lost a sister when he was very young and she was 2 years old. And he lost his mom when he was just 12. He loved the underdog. And when the underdog became the champ, he loved him even more if he was a gentleman.
He loved Rocky Graziano. He loved Fred Astaire. He loved dressing up and looking great every day. We all laughed and called him a ham or vain but the truth is he thought it made sense to look your best and be a gentleman.
He didn’t die being a hero to millions. He just represented a great generation with honor and respect. He was in WW2 and he had seven kids and worked hard to just get through it all. He was always kind hearted and always made time for people. He was Erie, PA’s greatest entertainer and I learned a lot from him.
He was an underdog and he outlasted most of the people he knew in his life.
He won some and lost some but he always fought a clean fight. He was a pretty great movie and I’m going to miss him.
I understand the romance of it all though, as he did. A great story has to have an end. The greatest love story in history ends with them both dying. It’s all romance when you think of it.
I will do my best to take the great parts of Jack down the road with me and apply them to my own life. My kids will miss out on some great laughs but I’ll try to retell the stories I recall.
Through all of his ups and downs he always had a smile. He played a great game and at his last at bat he stood at the plate and took the last strike like a gentleman. I love you, dad.
5th May 2012
Confessions of the baby of the family:
After having 6 kids, my parents took a breather. Can’t blame them. Breather? With having to take care of 6 children, how could anything sound like a breather? Yeah, good point. Well, anyway six years passed and then voila! There I was. Precious, isn’t he.
My dad said I was mature even as a baby, like a real responsible adult. Not sure if that’s true and so I will accept that as he said it. As my life continued and I became a kid then a teenager then a man child, I always had a dream. A huge goal. It was what I used to get everywhere. I used it in school, knowing that school wasn’t my path. I used it to get by, survive. Then I was a grown up. I had children, a job, responsibilities and people who counted on me. That never felt bad to me. I suppose I was ready for that from a very young age.
I met the goal, or so it seemed. A strange thing was happening and I wonder if my being the baby of the family plays a roll. I never feel satisfied. In fact it always feels like every time I can reach the hoop, someone lifts it up an inch or two.
When I was a child in a house with 8 other people, there were times of joy and times of trouble. Those things came and went and I always had forever to solve any problems that may have occurred. Now I don’t feel like I have forever. I feel like I only have one problem to solve and I have to really figure it out soon, before I lose sight of the answer forever.
How do I become okay with my life results?! How do I look at my body and say, “Not bad.”? How do I listen to my records and say, “Dude, you fucking did it!”? When will I sit in a dressing room in Birmingham, England, knowing that I am about to perform to a beautiful group of people in a sold out O2 venue and look in the mirror and think, “Congratulation! You’ve come a long way.” Because all I do now is want more. I want to look better. I want to be better. I want to have more and more and more love till I explode. I read 10,000 things from people that say “I LOVE YOU, Pat” and then one that says,”Hey Pat You suck!” and I am filled with sadness to my bones.
Some say that I feel these things because I am an artist. I don’t feel like an artist. Some say I am the baby of the family and that’s the way that works. But I’m certainly not a baby of anyone’s family anymore. I’m just a man trying to do his best and breaking shit along the way.
I promise myself to stop taking things personally but then the time comes and I do the whole routine all over again. Then I commiserate with others and it feels better for a moment or two. I sometimes feel like I should call it quits and grow a garden. Sometimes I feel like I’m doing some good for people. Sometimes I could use a break. Sometimes I could use a friend. And sometimes I feel like I am not alone and that makes me feel a bit better.
I don’t know if I will ever solve this one. The only thing I can do is my best. I hope that everyone in my life always knows that I am always trying to do my best.
21st April 2012
I’ve thrown a bunch away
I keep writing blogs and tossing them out because I’m not clear enough in my words to you at the time.
I’ve written about the past and SF and Johnny Cash and all sorts of things but nothing has seemed worthy of sending.
I haven’t been ignoring you, I’ve just been cloudy in the point lately.
I have been super edgy too. I think it’s that I’ve never been busier than I am currently and I miss a lot of important people. They are the ones that rejuvenate me when I need strength to continue.
Being a music man is a lovely way of life and at the same time it’s grueling.
I wouldn’t trade it but at times I just need to air it out. Hope that’s okay.
I saw a light tonight in Austin.
I saw my future rise just like the lyrics in Landmine. Got to sing a Kris Kristofferson song in front of him tonight. Sang with Shelby Lynn and Amy Lee. And I was surrounded by the American backbone of music.
My friend Tisha Fein gave me a life changing opportunity by inviting me to a Johnny Cash tribute at Austin City Limits.
I am grateful to her and so many others.
I am so grateful that you are all expressing your love for our latest album.
We will always try to give you your money’s worth in all we do. We have enormous respect for you all and I hope you see that in our work and our shows.
Hoping great things for us all this year, mostly love and time together and time with the ones that rejuvenate us.
21st March 2012
Feels good at first.
Driving away from Nashville towards who knows where to write with a possible new friend. The further I get from town, the more snow and the less people. Yes, I said snow. I remember driving and driving and as you would expect I eventually had no reason to have a mobile phone because it was useless. I had to be somewhere later that evening, so what was In store was just a meeting perhaps. After 45 minutes or so there I was at the house that built him. And there he was. Along with his friendly smile and half a dozen horses, Alan greeted me at my rental car.
“Hey there, Pat. I’m Alan”. Okay, so far so good. I grabbed my computer and my everything shoulder bag and headed to a very small log..uh..room.
Small, quaint and kind of perfect for the snow setting and this kind faced country writer. “This is where I write. I can think here.” “Hmm, okay cool. I like it here”, I say. Head to the restroom, due to drinking 30 cups of tea and 76 Perrier’s. Thats when I feel music and melody come get me. Usually I like to not be the idea guy in other people’s environment. Your turf! Your ideas! Kinda always look at it that way. But today, I felt this little wooden writing cabin coming at me and I opened up to the idea that the “turf” was actually telling me what to do.
So simple really, when you think about it. Love always feels so good at first. Makes me melancholy when I think of the love lost with time. Our “stuff” catches up to us within the relationship and the love bank starts to run out of funds. Sad for the most part but beautiful if talked about in a gentlemanly manner with a bit of melody.
Sitting across from Alan and discussing these ways of describing love, new and old, I was very grateful for the long trip in and the unexpected cold, white obstacle. I was very grateful to leave there with this simple poem with a bit of melody and I was grateful for the time spent with a lovely man who has made my life better with his past song writing.
Haven’t spoken to Alan since but I believe we will meet again for some more lovely moments.
By the way, I must have cursed 4000 times, from excitement, while writing this song. Alan just grinned without judgement and did not once say one fucking swear word. Man, he’s a cool dude.
“Goodbye, Pat. So great to have met you. Hope to see you again”. Me too, man. For sure. Let’s do it.
So, today that piece of life and love got to all of you and from what I saw, there is much love ad enthusiasm for it. I am so grateful for that. Gives me great reason to see a new friend again.
I suppose there is always a favorite line in every song I write. This one has many. Stole a few and made a few but they all sound right to me. Maybe I think the line, “And you can’t get mad when some girl you think I had puts a story in your head, when I hardly know her.” is my favorite. Or maybe the “autumn” line. Or perhaps the “roped and tied”.(thanks, Elton or Bernie).
I’m starting to understand some things about life and love and I am finding it all quite beautiful.
Thank you for that.
12th February 2012
There aren’t better singers than Whitney Houston. Not now. Not ever.
She was very special. Sometimes the most fragile objects are the loveliest.
We have all missed that greatness that she has been keeping from us long before today when she moved on the the non-physical life. Being a prisoner of a substance is hard to overcome for us all.
I truly hope great things will come to her family after this. I know she has a young daughter and I hope that she will not spend her whole life trying to figure out what happened to her mom. These tragedies don’t come with answers. They are somehow here to teach us all about the split second we get here and remind us to live it with kindness and love and also to dig deep within to get the highest level of yourself while you’re here.
Whitney had such a gift. I remember meeting Al Green’s backup singers, an older gentleman in that small group. He heard me sing and said, “Congratulations for respecting your gift”. Today that means more than ever. I do respect it and will continue to be grateful at every moment. Gifts aren’t forever, especially the gift of life. I plan to treat mine with the utmost respect and appreciation.
I hope you are all safe and happy and treating your gifts and self like children. You deserve that.
We’ll all see you again someday, Whitney. Thank you for your greatness and sharing what you were great at. I hope you are no longer in pain.
8th February 2012
When I was a kid, I would watch award shows and see big music stars and big time actors saying they loved their fans. It always made me crack up, knowing none of them would ever go out of their way to give any of their fans the time of day. It’s actually kept me from saying I love my/our fans on shows because it always seemed cheap and easy to say but not easy to do. I think of it as I do photo ops in places that love celebrity faces to look like a legit cause. Easy to show up and pretend but who’s doing the “real work”?
Anyway, it’s close to us getting back on the road and I fucking LOVE train fans and I wanna prove it. No bullshit speech. I want to continue this growth of community of misfits. When a bunch of you came to our Erie show last year, I was so touched and felt so blessed and special that I couldn’t express it. I got to sit with you for a while so I loved that I was able to personally thank you. When I say I love someone or something, count on it being true. I don’t look for opportunity with words of the heart. I find it very jive and pretentious and mean spirited to do so.
So as we embark on our next adventure, I will be getting to know and personally thanking even more of you in many different ways. I sincerely thank you from myself and my family and Train for this outrageously beautiful life you have provided us. If there is ever a time that you do not feel that sincere gracefulness from me, let me know so that I can get better at it.
I have many life obligations but none bigger than being personally grateful.
I am truly sending a flood of love to you all from a humble and sincere place. You all mean everything to me, young and old as hell.
I am determined to prove you all right for loving me and Train in the first place!!
15th January 2012
If laughter really is the best medicine….
Then I will live to a very old age. I was just with ALL of my brothers and sisters for the first time in ten years. That was Thanksgiving just before my mom passed away.
So, there we were in Erie, PA to be with my dad during a pretty scary time for all of us due to his health struggle at 85 years old. He’s always been indestructible and now he isn’t and it’s strange for my entire family.
My dad is a pretty wonderful guy. Everyone knows and loves Jack Monahan. If you don’t, you just haven’t met him. He’s always had a youthful twinkle in his eye that I recognized early on in my life. People gravitate to him and love to listen to his stories and his hilarious points of view about life. But yesterday the world slowed to a crawl as we held our breathe hoping for his friends of yesteryear to hold off on taking him so we could have more time soaking in the goodness that is Jack.
He has always loved this life. Not knowing what’s next was never really part of what he spent much time reflecting on. He loves the now, here, right here where the action is.
He has taught me so much about word use and what’s compelling. He’s very hard to impress by the arts and when he is impressed, his reasons are well thought out and passionate and filled with admiration.
His generation was astonishing. The wars they won. The inventions they came up with. The character that they had as a whole. They lived by a code. A code of class that could never stoop for any reason ever. What a generation! What a story. What a man.
He and my mother had seven kids. I was last. We told stories around my dad today and filled him full of the light that he had filled us with all these years.
His heart was pulling him down but his spirit was lifting him up.
He taught us to laugh and never take ourselves or life too seriously. That was for the unwise. We were to be beyond that. These lessons all came silently. We just watched a humble man make a living with great charisma and personality and were able to get the whole picture that he was painting.
I was wishing today that all that laughter could help him live forever but as we all well know who gets the last laugh.
I am grateful for the great friendship that I have been able to have with my dad. I hope that these past few days experiences will bring the seven of us closer and give all of our children reasons to get together in the future and remember this great man. I hope that he will be around for many more years but either way he will live inside of us as our mother does, reminding us what is truly of value that costs nothing and adds decades to your time here.
12th January 2012
I was thinking..
Drive By is out and what a great response you have all giving it. It’s a side of the band on our new record that is a lot of fun and up beat in a way that reflects the new energy of Train.
For those of you who were counting on a more reflective side of the band, there is plenty on the new CD. We’ve always made records that are kind of divided in two parts, A side and B side. It’s old school thinking but it’s hard to break that habit.
We cut a couple songs today at Butch Walker’s studio and they sound kind of like The Band meets Train meets James Taylor meets Led Beatles. You know what I’m talking about, right? Yeah, me neither. Anyway, there is a lot of fun up beat stuff coming and also singer songwriter vibe as well plus we are a band, so it sounds like a band.
I’m very excited about what we’re doing. I wish I could invite you all in to the studio.
We are putting together period of time we will be spending in SF playing some old joints we came up in and also we are still brain storming about a listening party that I had mentioned a while back in one of my blogs. We’ll fill you in when we figure it all out.
One more thing I wanted to say is that I’m very happy that Jason Mraz’s single is #1 on iTunes. It’s real good and I like where that guy is coming from. Seeing him and Adele and Train charting on iTunes is pretty crazy after all the changes that music has made over the past 15 years.
I appreciate those changes.
I appreciate our own evolution musically. And I mostly appreciate you all being here to be the biggest part of what’s good about Train and our music.
Train fans are the kinds of people that being around just makes you feel better about being on this orb.
Sending healing love out there.
Especially for my pops.
7th January 2012
There’s a moment when you paddle out to sea, just before the wave in front of you breaks, it seems like both you and the ocean hold your breathe and you leap into one another. I feel like I am in that state of mind a lot these days. I’m waiting to leap in and hope for the best. When you rise up to catch another breathe there is both great relief and exhilaration. Salt in your eyes, morning calm, quiet. Then again, hold, dive, breathe. I’m tired thinking about this. It’s been a few years since I even surfed but the memory never leaves. I miss the fear. I miss the vibration of the water at 6AM.
I have time.
Time has me.
We will leap together again.
Knowing that we are both fragile yet one of us will always be the victor.
I will be there where the motion is pure and fluid and the world has paused.
These days have been filled with caution. I am ready for 2012 to really take over now as a leader would a week or so after taking power.
Take us to this new vibration of love, twenty twelve.
I think I’m going to start calling you guys this year. Once in a while I will randomly call someone and say thank you. We can all call one another in 2012. You in ?
4th January 2012
Weird ass New Years
I stopped drinking about 16 years ago. That’s about the time music actually started to become a possible future for me. Every since then though, I have not had an epic New Years Eve.
I’m thinking that it’s just a strange time for me in general but this year was just as weird as the past 15. Not complaining, just sharing a part of my life outside of music.
It feels like this evening before the year changes over is kind of filled with lots of stress and expectation. I made a great dinner. Had family around and watched the ball drop. Pretty standard. Then I stressed on a few people and let things that had piled up come out in a blaze of frustration. Seriously, a glass of Drops of Jupiter could have mellowed me out. Starting to seriously think that New Years Eve should be my one alcohol day of the year. We’ll see.
In general, I’m wound pretty tight. I love the laughs of life but damn I just can’t chill these days. What am I so upright about? Relax! Aaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!
That’s better. No its not. I’m in a hotel in Miami so I can’t really scream. Doing the Orange Bowl half time tomorrow. Very exciting. Such great people running the whole thing. I’m really impressed with this event and how it is run.
Okay, I vented a bit and I thank you for allowing that. New music and new lots of stuff coming very soon.
Hope you are all being loved and having a great 2012 so far.
Love and miss you all, except that one guy. Ha. Kidding.
26th November 2011
I’ve been very family lately so I have kind of been away but please except my deepest thank you for the wonderful life you’ve given me and my family. Train fans and friends are kind and thoughtful and so what I’m trying to be more of.
I hope that we get many more years of sharing life moments and having a good laugh and cry together.
I’m always working on getting better at what I do and who I am because I feel like that is truly the best way to show appreciation.
I hope you’re all having great times with the ones you care the most about and before you know it we’ll be together again singing and mosh pitting ….or ya know something like that.
3rd November 2011
The changing of the leaves
Autumn is probably my favorite time of year. The colors mean everything to me. I’ve always felt like autumn inside. Leaves, which are green and unnoticed for much of their life spans, become vibrant and filled with personality and reason to pay attention.
Its a reminder that you can’t ever expect anyone to know your potential. Only you know your potential. Only you know what your capable of and what your boundaries and limitations are. Like Doug Stanhope says, “Your body is your property. No one should be able to tell you what to and not to do with it.” Makes sense.
So, as the leaves all change before they fall, I long for those familiar sounds of football, the wet streets with trick or treaters, the excuse to eat pumpkin pie and family. I’m missing my brothers and sisters, my older children, whom I’ll see very soon, and my dad. Usually we have Thanksgiving. There will be some missing pieces this year. My dad will stay in PA and my friend Connie will be joining us this year in spirit. It will be a great time to really be grateful this year. So much to appreciate. As I expand in age, I am seeing so much that I need to reflect on more. For instance, I haven’t exercised because I have an injury. Man, I’m grateful for times without pain. My wife and I have a new baby guy named Rock(not a music reference). He’s sweet and healthy and beautiful. And what I really am learning to love is time. Time to be. Time to rest. Time to remember and time to forget. Time will come and go as we will but people and the beasts will always have these fleeting moments to choose all of these amazing choices in this weird world. I suppose I will just want to look back one day and be grateful for how I chose to spend my spare moments. I will be taking that more seriously in these years to come. These spare moments have gotten to be few and far. And so I love this season. It is Northern California’s most beautiful as well as it’s warmest time of year.
So much to be grateful for. Yes!
I just read all of the letters that I received in Erie. Thank you, everyone. You are so kind and when I do get to actually see you and talk to you all, I am always so excited that you are even more wonderful in person. I hope you will continue to send love and good energy during our recording time, which begins this weekend. Hoping to have new music out right after the new year. We’ll see. There’s so much to do and we definitely want to be evolving in a positive direction.
Lastly for now, I’ve been reading the same book for 5 months now. 353 pages. I read about a page a week. Ha. What a joke. Does everyone do this kind of shit? I feel like a dummy. I know people that read a book a week. Oh and yes I do hate them. Jokes.
Okay, I’m on a plane to LA with Pergo. He and Moose are really getting famous among you guys. I think I know why…they’re weird and fun to watch cause weird is fun to watch. Right? I know they aren’t hot! Okay, well not super hot anyway.
Love you guys. Thanks for always looking out for one another. So good to see on this planet right now.